What a perfect comic.  In Secret Wars, the Thors are the enforcers of the laws set down by God-Emperor Doom, so Jason Aaron has given us exactly what I wanted: a police procedural featuring various Thors from across the Marvel multiverse.  It features Ultimate Thor and his partner, Beta Ray Bill, as they investigate the latest in a series of unsolved murders, five in one week – no forensic evidence, no suspects, and they’re not even able to identify the victims.

And it’s just full of fun little details.  There’s something wonderful about Ultimate Thor putting on latex gloves while telling rookie Thorus of Egyptia, “A victim can only be killed once, but a crime scene can be murdered a million times.”  Or when an argument between Storm and the Rune Thor, or “Runey” (hilarious), results in an impending thunderstorm, and he warns them, “If one of you idiots makes it rain on my crime scene, I will feed you your own hammer, head first.”  The traditional cop banter between Beta Ray Bill and Ultimate Thor alternates between cynical and sincere, including when they arrest some wild Ghost Riders (basically just naked flaming skeletons on motorcycles) on the charges of reckless driving, resisting arrest, and illegal outside burning.  And when they’re called in to the Lawspeaker’s office, Thor asks, “How mad do you think he’ll be?  On a scale of one to Fin Fang Foom?”  “I’m hoping for about a Krakoa.  Or if we’re really lucky, a Googam, son of Goom.”  After which the Lawspeaker advises them to close this case fast, “or you’ll both be busted back to berserker before the week is through.”  Guys.  Guys.  This reads like a buddy cop movie that features an entire cast of Thors.

And as if all this weren’t wonderful enough, we get Throg as the forensics frog.  You guys he’s a wee little frog with his own wee little Mjolnir and wee little lab coat.  Later, after Throg reveals that the five victims are all the same woman, Ultimate Thor meets Beta Ray Bill at Valhalla’s Mead Hall in Manhattan, a bar for Thors only, and just… just look at this, you guys.  How lucky are we to live in a world where this comic exists?

This issue ends with tragedy striking, but not before Beta Ray Bill visits his secret informant, none other than that sinister Loki (as a hobo living out of a cardboard box in an alley, because of course), and reveals unto us the name of the murder victim(s).  It’s a fantastic variation on a classic theme, and is an engaging story set within both the context of Doomworld and the greater Marvel universe.  All this and gorgeous art, courtesy of the vastly talented Chris Sprouse.  You guys should seriously check this one out.