Ahhh, the ubiquity of Deadpool. I often wonder if there the hypothetical reader actually exists that just demands more Deadpool, all the Deadpool, Deadpool guest-appearances in every Marvel comic please! One shudders to think! But, like… have you ever wondered why? What exactly is it about Deadpool? Is it the way his ceaseless, tired, “Scary Movie”-esque pop culture references and frequent use of hilarious words like “chimichanga” speak to today’s youth culture? Is it the fact that he “breaks the fourth wall,” behaving like a comic character who is aware that he’s a comic character, constantly winking at the reader while nudging them in the ribs to the point of bruising? Or is it just that he’s the wacky guy, a remnant of the nineties “anti-heroes,” who shrugs off traditional superhero morality while gleefully bouncing through the whole of the Marvel universe, shooting his guns and lighting his farts in increasingly hollow and cartoonish exploits?
And so, because we have to, we are presented with Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars, in which we explore what it would have been like if Deadpool had participated in the events of the original Secret Wars miniseries from ’84-’85. Can you guys even handle the potential for wackiness?? Deadpool has done pastiche-style comics before, most recently a few issues of the most recent Posehn/Duggan run – my particular favorite was an issue set in the ’90s which heavily referenced Rob Liefeld’s excessive cross-hatching and distorted understanding of human anatomy. Unfortunately, this miniseries is written by… sigh… Cullen Bunn. As per usual, I’ve nothing against Cullen Bunn’s writing – would that I could get worked up over it one way or the other – but the fact of the matter is he’s just… not… funny. Here are several examples:
Exhibit A: My god, do I hate it when comic characters reference basic elements of the comic itself, like flashbacks, panel layouts, or speech bubbles. But yeah, so, I guess that’s also a halfhearted attempt at a “joke” by way of Deadpool pointing out that the Wasp has breasts?
Exhibit B: A bathroom reference followed immediately by a Poltergeist reference. The laffs just keep on coming!
Exhibit C: These panels basically capture what feels like the entirety of the issue: Deadpool making lazy, unfunny side-comments to other characters who stand around disinterestedly and don’t respond.
It’s examples like these and others — Deadpool doing a coughing-gag, or catching Kang off-guard by kicking him in the ‘nads — that make me wonder if a requirement for a Deadpool comic is that it is meant to be funny. Is a reference to his “biscuits” funny? Is Deadpool propositioning She-Hulk and the Enchantress for a threesome funny? How about mentioning the word “speedos?” Is any of this meant to engender amusement on part of the reader? Or is just it the difference between comedy and pure base immaturity? And then I started really thinking about how, upon closer analysis, this is seriously just a straight-up re-telling of the first issue or two of Secret Wars with Deadpool on the sidelines, not influencing or directing the plot while every other “serious” character goes through the same motions. Deadpool yammers while dragging up Kang’s unconscious body? Nobody acknowledges him. Deadpool lazily refers to Storm as “that biker girl?” Nobody responds. Deadpool is literally whispering nonsense in Wolverine’s ear? No reaction. The only bits I halfway liked were the Absorbing Man unintentionally absorbing Deadpool’s hideous appearance along with his powers, and Deadpool telling the Lizard, “Watch it, scaly! This is the only set of clothes I brought! It’s not like there are machines around here that just magically create new costumes!”
So I started to wonder… is it me? Am I some kind of alien whose definition of humor is different than that of human society? Am I just absolutely not the target audience for this kind of thing, but which then leads to the question, who is? Is Deadpool’s only job in this comic to provide pointless, unfunny, and/or sarcastic commentary while all but telling the reader, “Hey, guys, I’ve read the same comics you have! Isn’t that great?” And then I thought, wait… pointless quibbling, metafictional awareness, lame not-jokes… is Deadpool supposed to be… a Marvel comics fan? Is he supposed to be a stand-in for the reader? Is Deadpool supposed to be me? Am I Deadpool???! …Which made me realize I was going way too far down the rabbit-hole, and I’m pretty sure I was devoting more thought to this comic than did any of its creators.
Anyway, what could have been a fun experiment ends up as nothing but a collection of tired, lazy gags that not even the characters themselves get worked up about. For an example of how to do this kind of thing right, please see one of my all-time favorite comics, Deadpool 11 from Joe Kelly’s run on the series, which I will continue to argue is the best Deadpool run that was unappreciated in its time. I don’t think anyone is nearly as capable of balancing action, pathos, and humor as Joe Kelly – his Deadpool was a psychopathic mercenary who was always trying to do right thing, even though at times he probably couldn’t have told you why he was bothering. In this issue, Deadpool is thrown back in time to the otherwise forgettable Amazing Spider-Man 47, with Pete Woods and inkers Al Milgrom and Joe Sinnott doing an incredible job of mimicking the style of John Romita’s original penciling. Trapped in the past with a busted teleporter, Deadpool’s only shot to make it back to the present is to use his holographic image inducer to pose as “bony college boy” Peter Parker, disguise Blind Al as Peter’s fainting-prone aunt May, track down the younger version of his science-genius sidekick Weasel, and not do too much damage to the timestream, while simultaneously fighting off Kraven the Hunter and trying not to make fun of Norman Osborn’s ridiculous hair. It is 100% amazing and you should all read that issue instead of devoting any more thought to Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars.